The numbness shattered her. I thought she would lose track, I thought she wouldn't be able to rise from the dead. That's how she felt: dead inside. The loneliness cut her brain like a lightning and spread it around places she always tried to keep a safe distance from. Now all of it was broken, all of it saw the truth. But what an ineffable truth it was. It was the kind of truth that makes you wiser, grander than the other brutes around you, but at the end who's happier? The truth can kill you, the truth seeks the truth in itself.
She still wasn't able to find herself, although she knew it was the right time to do it. If ever, now was the time. The clock is ticking.
She always knew...well, not always, but once she became aware of certain things I don't dare explain, she knew something was going to happen without any kind of warning sign. As the days go by she tries to flee from those kind of thoughts. They don't do you any good, they just make you bitter. Lonely. Oh how lonely she felt sometimes. Sharing this with someone wasn't an option, she had to keep it all to herself what only made it worse, harder to bare with.
Despite it all, she got up. Enough daydreaming, enough thinking, enough of killing herself and the ones around her. Altough they didn't know it she was killing them too. Slowly they would stop breathing the same air as her. And no, she couldn't afford to lose more lives. So she headed North, she wanted to feel the cold warmth of goosebumps on her body, she wanted to touch the snow, she wanted everything around her to be as cold as she was. Yes, that was it: coldness could heal her.
