They wanna get to know her, they wanna go to the movies, they wanna kiss her.
But she's just not feeling it.
Beautiful words are formed for her, but she only manages to respond with crooked, cornered smiles.
Maybe it's her childish idea that someone will come along, she will look at him, and just know it. Never thought of her as a believer in destiny and all that kind of crap, but it seems like she's hanging on something like that. She needs to feel a true connection from the starting point, or else, she'll just lose interest.
Yes, they went out for a beer. They laughed. They shared stories and got to know a bit of each other. When she got home, a weird feeling was flowing inside of her and no, it didn't feel good. She didn't even find herself thinking about that person for a whole minute after they met. Better yet, she found herself thinking only about all the flaws she found in him, all the things that make him (actually a nice person) wrong for her and how she couldn't find true interest in the things he said. How no connection at all happened in that 2 hours of small talk. Maybe that was the problem, only small talk happened and she can't stand small, meaningless talk anymore in her life. The problem is, he seemed to find meaning or whatever in those hours... And how do you tell someone you hardly know, that after a couple of hours you already know there's no interest in meeting them further? You don't. If you're her, you wait for the first opportunity to act bitchy, hoping he will lose interest when getting to know her "not so nice and pretty side". The opportunity formed itself pretty quickly actually, she still isn't sure if it worked or not, but she's glad he didn't try to reach her in the last couple of days. And counting...
Is she broken? Is she evil? Did she become too demanding? She knows perfection doesn't exist and even finds perfection boring, but what the fuck is she looking for then? Nothing. She's not hoping for the right person to appear magically on the corner of the street. She doesn't need one now. And the ones she meets... She's just giving them chances to show her if they could be worth it. All of them just make her realize what she doesn't want. Yes, that can be good.
Real connections... Chemistry... It happens so randomly, but when it happens, it may take you to places you've never been before. She's glad to have found it with a couple of people. She's glad it has presented itself to her when she most needed to believe real chemistry can exist between more than with just one person. It's just good to know the possibility of a real and intense connection exists with someone (new). And maybe that also made her raise the wall (?) around her. She feeds on the connection. Connect, click, clack.
We're social beings, we need witnesses to our lives. We may be alone (and perfectly fine), but I think every one needs, every one likes to have some one they can share thoughts, ideas and accomplishments they've made. And some times, you find yourself only wanting to share most of your world to a specific person (which usually means: trouble). That's just how it goes, you're a human being. You connect. You disconnect. You connect. You disconnect.
Most of them will only get to know Mrs Cold.
Sem comentários:
Enviar um comentário